Author: Mother

Where did sunrise find you this morning?  Were you warm and snuggled up in bed, working, worrying, eating, chatting …?  I was painting a gate; a gate which had once been welcoming in red, funereal in black and which, due to its visibly expressed desire to return to jollity, was being restored to its exuberant redness.

Washing, stripping, sanding and painting the gate (twice) was a more than day long process.  Really? I hear you cry.  Well, when one begins the exercise in the afternoon whilst conversing comfortably with neighbours, it becomes a more than one day process!

With the world quiet and serene, the second coat of paint flew onto the gate in record time and in good order, this morning.  Marvellous!

Other sunrises, recently, have been characterised by thinking walks along the beach with the dogs, and heart-to-hearts with dear friends.  For a lark, it is the perfect time of day and the perfect introduction to what one hopes will always be a better, kinder more serene day than yesterday.

Recently, a discussion with a close female friend slowly meandered its way to the subject of being cherished.  (It’s an old fashioned word which evokes images of gentleness, honour, respect, courtesy, knights in shining armour and scented climbing roses.)  She has had a relationship with her husband for more than fifteen years and is blooming.  Whenever she speaks about him, she glows and her voice changes slightly.  How rare and precious.

Our discussion arose as my friend had noted similar responses occurring in me.  I needed to say nothing; the evidence of being cherished radiated from me – and continues to do so.  I have never been cherished before, so I am still adjusting to the wonderful warmth of it.  Being cherished means that one is cared for completely, respected thoroughly, thought of lovingly and treated with disarming dignity.  The difference which it has made to my life is a source of joy and astonishment to me.

Being cherished validates one’s identity, choices and existence.  It results in one walking a little taller, holding one’s head a little higher and smiling – a great deal.  It also results, inevitably, in reciprocity.

The peculiarity is that up and down the land, since time immemorial, couples have been vowing to cherish each other as part of their marriage vows.  Yet, it is a vow rarely kept and an opportunity sadly missed.

Change your circumstances by cherishing and being cherished.  Your life will never be the same again.

Don’t just take my word for it; try it for yourself.

Life is extraordinary with all its unexpected twists and turns.  Just as one is completely convinced that life will always be mundane, routine and, quite frankly, lonely, along comes something or someone to shake everything up.  It has been a long and relatively slow dawning that this is the case in my own life.  However, the light has dawned and my life has well and truly been shaken up.

Having endured a very difficult, depressing and destructive marriage for two decades, I finally drew the line beneath the countless betrayals and deceptions.  I dusted myself down and determined that I would hold my head up and walk alone – with my children.  Barely had the resolve stiffened resolutely in my mind, than a gift appeared.

Of course, I didn’t recognise the gift for what it was, originally, but now almost two years later, the scales have fallen from my eyes!  I have been blessed with the opportunity of growing old with my soul mate.  The support, sense of importance and sense of wellbeing which he has given me are incredible; it is certainly radically different from anything tossed my way during the last twenty years.

The most curious consequence, to my mind though, is the synaesthesia.  I hear his name and a cascading kaleidoscope of colour dances, glitters and shimmers in the air before me.  It is unlike anything which I have ever experienced before.  I don’t know how long it will last but, for now, the visual rainbow sensation completely and accurately mirrors the emotional light show to which I am being treated.  It is absolutely wonderful!