Releasing equity form our partially refurbished property, to move onto phase II, necessitated the involvement of a surveyor. The man duly arrived – early. In many households this may have posed no issue. However, I need time to compose myself with eccentricity-decreasing cautions relating to conventional mores of behaviour. Denied my opportunity, Mr Collinson encountered me juggling eggs, surrounded by hens and their deposits. ‘Twas a shaky start, one must confess, but all appeared to go well – until the valuation appeared by post.
Broadsided by the ridiculously low valuation figure, we challenged it in the assumption that a transposition error had occurred. No, it hadn’t. Comparing the most recent survey with the tome we are using as our schedule of works (from the same firm), we were alarmed to see that our home had shrunk! Mr Collinson had missed an entire floor of the building and 75 sq metres of space. Imagine our relief and gratitude that we hadn’t asked him to value a bungalow! The message for today is, check your paperwork – particularly your surveys – very carefully.
I cannot end without mentioning the ongoing truly appalling behaviour at Liverpool Football club. During the many years of supporting the club, I had no notion of how deeply and institutionally ingrained the racism was. It is a national disgrace. The greatest tragedy is to see the once respected Kenny Dalglish morphed into an apologist for racial hatred. Shame on him – and all like him.