How many times have you heard the chastisement, “Don’t believe everything you hear!” or “Well, we don’t do that in our house …” or even “You are so gullible!” Time worn phrases, each one, usually fired by all- knowing, all-wise mothers. We spent years listening to these (and many other) stock phrases and, when our turn came, repeated them with equal gravity and logic. We repeated them, but did we ever really learn to live by them?
I admit that I enjoy a home relocation or renovation television programme as much as anyone. It’s marvellous to see folk, with vision and enthusiasm, rescue dilapidated piles and/or relocate to Bonga Bonga with only half a litre of milk, twenty pence and a glint in their eye. Within forty minutes (TV programmes are on a tight schedule!), every wreck is converted – or almost, every obstacle is overcome – with laudable high spirits, and every family is healthier, wealthier and wiser for the whole experience. In fact, it is all so logical and simple we all know that it is the only way to be truly happy.
Where, oh where, is a sensible level-headed mother when you need one? (Oh yes, we’re supposed to be that person, remember?)
I’ve done it! Our whole family has left a warm, watertight, wonderful home in the city. We have headed hundreds of miles further north and swapped our savings, our security and (it may be argued), our sanity for an unloved Victorian pile with original features. Original features include single-glazed windows, archaic plumbing, ‘70s carpets, inadequate heating, antiquated bathroom fittings and a hole in the roof!
The boiler is often inexplicable, some of the children are delighted and others depressed, there have been 2 floods already – and we have only been here for 2 days. The budget is miniscule, the kitchen is unusable, we’re camping in one of the reception rooms, but we adults are ecstatic.
We know that all will be well, because everyone else is doing it and in 40-ish minutes, everything will be perfect!
