Disagree, But Don’t Be Disagreeable!

Be the main character of your own life story; don’t attempt to become the star of A.N. Other’s.




It’s a timeworn truism which summarises a point on my list of things which folk simply should not do.  Don’t be arrogant.

The dictionary defines “arrogance” as “being haughty and contemptuous of others.”

Unfortunately, many people regard arrogance as akin to confidence and therefore, in varying degrees, desirable.  Confidence is a comfortable, well-balanced acceptance of ones self-worth.  Arrogance is the denial of another’s worth.

The two are worlds apart.  Every living thing has worth (or value) and most of it is utterly immeasurable.  True worth cannot be defined by money, status or exchange.  It is only through the acceptance of that fact that we are able to co-exist respectfully with others.  Without sensitivity, knowledge and acceptance, people descend rapidly into arrogance and, ultimately, megalomania. 

Arrogance breeds primitive, uncivilised, unedifying behaviour.  The denial of another’s right to an alternative opinion is arrogance.  The desire and attempt to bully, badger and bombard another into ones own view is arrogance.  Nagging promotion of ones beliefs – even when the motives are projected as being valid – is arrogance.

Have an opinion; hold it firmly and loyally; refine it and declare it eloquently, when appropriate.  Still, accept that A.N. Other has an equal right to an opinion – an opposing one.

Be the main character of your own life story; don’t attempt to become the star of A.N. Other’s.  Live responsibly with diligence, dignity and distinction.  Live your life story confidently, courageously and to the best of your ability; remember, anyone can live badly.

 

New Year’s Resolutions…and Dissolutions!

Vegetating corpulently on the sofa, in a gluttony induced semi-coma, is perhaps not the ideal setting for an objective perusal of the past year.  Neither is it the optimum situation for objective goal setting.  Still, here we are and “needs must”!

Was 2010 all that you had hoped?  Did it fulfil the promise or potential which you gleefully anticipated at the beginning of the year?  (My 2010 was a whirlwind of unexpected events.)  For good or ill, it’s over and New Year sends an opportunity for a deep breath and renewed determination.

So, here are some dissolutions and resolutions to ponder.

Dissolutions or Dissoluteness – You Pick!

1.  The Nationwide’s eejit decision to close its agencies – without adequate member consultation.  (Why exactly did we fight off the building society crunchers, a few years ago?)  Not in my name…

2.  RBS Business Division morphing into Santander.  Am I the only one who hears, “We are Borg… sorry, Santander”?!

3.  Wholesale rejection of the honourable age old tradition of local justice; the closure of magistrates’ courts up and down the land.

Resolutions – Optional and, at least, Not Destructive!

1.  Adopt a healthier lifestyle – if you choose!

2.  Clear under the bed and one other glory hole.

3.  Find that matching shoe.

4.  Sleep better; stress less.

5.  Book a day to worry about all those issues; form a plan, then move on.

6.  Choose to view life as an adventure – not as an obstacle course.

7.  You are the main character in your life story; live well.

8.  Give up one negative habit.

9.  Smile more.

10.  Enjoy a holiday – especially, if you stay at home.

A peaceful, progressive and productive New Year to you and yours

The Importance of Being Earnest… or Jovial

Once, when my child died in pregnancy, a loving relative told me that it was “all for the best.  There was probably something wrong.”  Erroneously timed, clichéd and facile, it was a mistake.  Don’t repeat it.  Grieve alongside the sorrowful or just “be” in their presence.  That will provide all the comfort needed.

A child, a new life, always brings hope.  The loss of hope should never be categorised as anything other than gut-wrenchingly explosive, joy-drainingly horrifying or personally cataclysmic.

Life without hope is unendurable.

We must find hope every day – albeit in the tiniest and most unusual of ways and places – the hope of a kind word or the smile of even a stranger.  (An elderly lady, a few years ago, thanked me for a “Good Morning”, tossed lightly, as we passed on the road.  Should a greeting ever be so rare that it becomes a privilege?)  The hope that, today, we will get a seat on the bus, satisfy our boss, please our partner.  The hope that today will be bolder, brighter, better – or rather, that we will be so.  The hope that if not today, then tomorrow…

Hold onto hope, with both hands and arms grabbing and rigidly locking around it.  Don’t let go of hope in the simple, the tiny and the good – no matter what happens, no matter who happens.

Don’t be a clone, a robot or a sheep.  Live positively, live individually, live well.

I wanted to walk through a dense, low hedge and scale a fence (also vertically challenged!) to exit a car park, a few days ago.  My companion – far younger – forbade me and the moment passed.  I had managed, earlier, to sing along and dance to ‘80s music blaring vaguely in a toy shop.  An assistant and I shared the humour of the moment and quietly brightened each other’s day.

Harmless eccentricity – all of it – should be encouraged and celebrated.  Be who you are.  Care to be different; dare to be unique.

Bearing in mind the adages, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” and “Revenge is a dish best served cold”, Prince William’s decision to propel his late mother’s memory into the limelight – for all time – via that ring and that photographer, should be a lesson for us all.  Of course, the combined cheering of mothers and first wives, everywhere, sounds almost akin to a suffragette rally!

See what I mean about hope?

Have an eventful, jovial and successful 2011.