Disagree, But Don’t Be Disagreeable!

Be the main character of your own life story; don’t attempt to become the star of A.N. Other’s.




It’s a timeworn truism which summarises a point on my list of things which folk simply should not do.  Don’t be arrogant.

The dictionary defines “arrogance” as “being haughty and contemptuous of others.”

Unfortunately, many people regard arrogance as akin to confidence and therefore, in varying degrees, desirable.  Confidence is a comfortable, well-balanced acceptance of ones self-worth.  Arrogance is the denial of another’s worth.

The two are worlds apart.  Every living thing has worth (or value) and most of it is utterly immeasurable.  True worth cannot be defined by money, status or exchange.  It is only through the acceptance of that fact that we are able to co-exist respectfully with others.  Without sensitivity, knowledge and acceptance, people descend rapidly into arrogance and, ultimately, megalomania. 

Arrogance breeds primitive, uncivilised, unedifying behaviour.  The denial of another’s right to an alternative opinion is arrogance.  The desire and attempt to bully, badger and bombard another into ones own view is arrogance.  Nagging promotion of ones beliefs – even when the motives are projected as being valid – is arrogance.

Have an opinion; hold it firmly and loyally; refine it and declare it eloquently, when appropriate.  Still, accept that A.N. Other has an equal right to an opinion – an opposing one.

Be the main character of your own life story; don’t attempt to become the star of A.N. Other’s.  Live responsibly with diligence, dignity and distinction.  Live your life story confidently, courageously and to the best of your ability; remember, anyone can live badly.

 

Washing Dirty Laundry in Public…Never a Wise Idea!

In a convoluted way, this whole entry, about the possible folly of falling in love with bricks and mortar, has been hijacked by Jocasta Innes… and Daisy Goodwin. 

Having committed myself (pioneering or foolhardy, only time will tell) to the restoration of a truly inspirational Victorian abode, I turned (in time-honoured fashion) to my trusty tome, “The Thrifty Decorator”.  This interior design treasure has seen me through decades of poverty and riches; from shoeboxes via log cabins, through modest (and less so) terraces to a veritable pile.  However, on this occasion, reading my cherished, well-thumbed blueprint was not enough!  Panic – or something more pixie-ish – led me to a search for the great Jocasta Innes herself.

The mantra “Google is your friend” having yielded the information that Ms Innes’ website subscription lapsed on 27.12.2010, I turned detective.  (I needed now to locate her just for life, in its familiar form, to continue!)  That was how I stumbled upon Daisy Goodwin’s article about the ravages of divorce.

It’s an excellent read – don’t just take my word for it – and doubtless, the toe-curling display of genuine angst resonates with all those who have ever suffered parental separation and deprivation (mine was via boarding school), but it simply won’t do.  Why does anyone, in search of really good restoration advice, need access to more than one facet of an icon’s personality?  One accepts that genius is a double-edged sword; one accepts it, but deliberately ignores it.  (You have heard of Michael Jackson, Agatha Christie, Beethoven, Emmeline Pankhurst, Disraeli, Van Gogh – to name a few at random.)  The disclosure of genii, as three dimensional, should be avoided at all costs.  We don’t want them to be mere people – we certainly don’t need them to be so.  Too much frail humanity is one concern; to be exposed by ones child or children may be the ultimate betrayal/act of revenge.

So, deeply disillusioned, I returned to my less shiny, less glossy fount of superior, sensible decorative advice and re-read the amusing references to children with less hope, less humour and much more cynicism.  What an avoidable shame.

Still, Jocasta if you’re out there… I need your expertise!     

New Year’s Resolutions…and Dissolutions!

Vegetating corpulently on the sofa, in a gluttony induced semi-coma, is perhaps not the ideal setting for an objective perusal of the past year.  Neither is it the optimum situation for objective goal setting.  Still, here we are and “needs must”!

Was 2010 all that you had hoped?  Did it fulfil the promise or potential which you gleefully anticipated at the beginning of the year?  (My 2010 was a whirlwind of unexpected events.)  For good or ill, it’s over and New Year sends an opportunity for a deep breath and renewed determination.

So, here are some dissolutions and resolutions to ponder.

Dissolutions or Dissoluteness – You Pick!

1.  The Nationwide’s eejit decision to close its agencies – without adequate member consultation.  (Why exactly did we fight off the building society crunchers, a few years ago?)  Not in my name…

2.  RBS Business Division morphing into Santander.  Am I the only one who hears, “We are Borg… sorry, Santander”?!

3.  Wholesale rejection of the honourable age old tradition of local justice; the closure of magistrates’ courts up and down the land.

Resolutions – Optional and, at least, Not Destructive!

1.  Adopt a healthier lifestyle – if you choose!

2.  Clear under the bed and one other glory hole.

3.  Find that matching shoe.

4.  Sleep better; stress less.

5.  Book a day to worry about all those issues; form a plan, then move on.

6.  Choose to view life as an adventure – not as an obstacle course.

7.  You are the main character in your life story; live well.

8.  Give up one negative habit.

9.  Smile more.

10.  Enjoy a holiday – especially, if you stay at home.

A peaceful, progressive and productive New Year to you and yours