Last weekend, I won a “Hampshire Build Your Own Brick Barbeque” on eBay. The significance of this becomes apparent to anyone who has seen the mountain of less than perfect bricks residing in my front and rear gardens! I asked the builders to use them in their repair and refurbishment of the garden walls, but their indignant “we are artists and craftsmen” responses quickly convinced me that allies in the cause, they were not.
Thrilled with my £3.21 purchase, I had what my builder, John, refers to (not particularly respectfully) as “one of your visions”. Given a mountain of bricks and excellent builders on-site to provide guidance – in the remote possibility that I might need it – I decided to build a combination barbeque and pizza oven. Having an inkling that the feat might be slightly more complicated to do than say, I sent John a text message outlining the notion. After all, a complete novice shouldn’t always rely upon “beginner’s luck” for success.
At 7.45am on Monday morning, and with an expression that could wilt spinach, John arrived and told me bluntly that a pillar, let alone a pizza oven, was completely beyond my bricklaying ability; I could scarcely argue. Here, I should explain that John has many “a vision” of his own. We often spark each other into ever more fantastical (and expensive) brainwaves, but we also sometimes clash. The pizza oven was NOT what John considered to be one of my most inspired ideas. That was on Monday morning. By Thursday afternoon, he was muttering unrepeatable things about crazy women, impossible projects and never, ever, ever designing or building a pizza oven ever, ever again. I got his point!
Before he departed on Friday, John was heard to admit – very grudgingly and possibly even under his breath – that my pizza oven, albeit not completely finished, was a triumph. The only slight issue is that my £3.21 eBay bargain has cost approximately £800. Still, it’s not every day one has a vision about a pizza oven!
